Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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