One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
