I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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