Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
