You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
