I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
