The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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