I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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