why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?