I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
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I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old