just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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