as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
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Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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