I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
