Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
