someone get that fucking seahorse.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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