physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
