i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
