We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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