dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
