we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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