Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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