"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
