I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
