Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize