think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
