bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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