Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
