You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
