I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
