I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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