The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
