I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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