You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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