Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
