i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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