I'm really into asian looking animals
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
