No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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