I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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