i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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