i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
