you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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