Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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