she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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