okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
