Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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