All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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