That's when you crack a 10am beer
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Found the puke drawer
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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