So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
