oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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