Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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