Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
