Me too!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
