i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
