May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
