I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
