Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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