remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
