I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
