his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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