Soap is not a condiment
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
