i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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