cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
