Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
