I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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