We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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