i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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