It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
